My End of Year Schmooze
by Joel Markowitz
So none of my readers can accuse me of being listless, here are my two end of the year lists:
(1) All the local theatres create a no cell phone zone like the Landmark Theatres do-where cells phones just don’t work in a theatre.
(2) Every show in every theatre in the DC area starts on time.
(3) Every theatre’s season is as artistically successful as Studio Theatre’s was this year.
(4) All theatres stop selling candy and drinks that are loudly consumed in our theatres, and all squishy water bottles are banned from every theatre.
(5) Text messaging during a performance and unwrapping candy during the most dramatic moment of a play carries a 5 year prison sentence – without the possibility of parole.
(6) We see more concert versions of new musicals being workshopped.
(7) The Warner Theatre stops seating latecomers 90 minutes into performances.
(8) Every performance in Signature’s The Max is miced, and not too loudly.
(9) Theatres produce more cabarets this year featuring the likes of the fabulous Judy Simmons and Gia Mora.
(10) A stuffed pickle is never used in any musical or play ever again.
(11) A revue of songs isn’t falsely advertised as a “New Musical.”
(12) Tickets prices are lower for shows with pre-recorded music.
(12) “Bull Crap” is never heard again in a holiday show.
(13) The Washington Post starts sending its critics to review the fantastic productions that Toby Orenstein produces and directs in her Columbia and Baltimore venues. (Peter, Nelson and Celia – I have a sinking feeling that you should have seen Titanic-The Musical!! It was unbelievable!)
(14) The Musical of Musicals comes back to MetroStage with Donna, Bobby, Janine and Russell for a very, very long open run.
(1) Glory Days at Signature.
(2) The Producers at Toby’s – The Dinner Theatre of Columbia.
(3) The Visit at Signature.
(4) A New Brain at KAT (Kensington Arts Theatre).
(5) Zanna, Don’t! at KAT (Kensington Arts Theatre).
(6) Carmen at Synetic Theatre.
(7) The Mystery of Irma Vep at Arena Stage.
(8) Nixon’s Nixon at Round House Theatre.
(9) David In Shadow and Light at Theater J.
(10) Jerry Springer The Opera at Studio Theatre.
(1) Natascia Diaz in Kiss of The Spiderwoman at Signature
(2) Chita Rivera & George Hearn in The Visit at Signature.
(3)(4) Bobby Smith & Will Gartshore in David In Shadow and Light at Theater J.
(5) Judy Gold in 25 Questions For A Jewish Mother at Theater J.
(6)(7) Ed Gero & Conrad Feininger in Nixon’s Nixon at Round House Theatre.
(8)(9) Brad Oscar & J. Fred Shiffman in The Mystery of Irma Vep at Arena Stage.
(10) Rick Foucheaux in Death of A Salesman at Arena Stage.
So what’s on your Wish and Don’t Miss lists? Tell us in the Comments section below.
Happy Theatre Going in 2008!
See you in the theatre!