Congress last night passed emergency legislation delaying the beginning of Wednesday, April 1, 2009 for twenty-four hours. Subsequent days will also be postponed for a twenty-four hour period, under the legislation.
The bill came about as a result of a request by DC Theatre Scene staff writer Tim Treanor, who had been unable to complete his assigned task to write an April Fool’s gag by the April 1 deadline. Several beneficiaries of last year’s bailout, who had loan repayments due on April 1, joined Treanor in his request.
“I had bupkus,” said Treanor in an exclusive interview with himself. “This was the only thing I could think of to do.” According to Treanor, the bailout beneficiaries also had bupkus for April 1.
On April 1, 2006, Treanor wrote a mildly amusing article in which billionaire computer mogul Bill Gates purportedly bought a $60 million theater ticket on “pay what you can” night. 2007 and 2008 hoaxes, which involved Warren Buffet and Oprah Winfrey buying “pay what you can” tickets, were less well received.
“I was getting pressure to change the theme,” said Treanor, a lawyer. “What can I say? I only have one joke. I’ve already exceeded my quota.”
Congress’ emergency legislation joins the New York Legislature’s decision to freeze time annually at 11.59 p.m. on March 31 (the State Constitution requires that a budget be passed by April 1); the Indiana legislature’s decision to fix the value of pi at 3 1/7, and King Canute’s decree rolling back the tides as unusual, but popular, “man over nature” bills. “It’s good to be the government,” said a well-known political figure, who declined to be identified because then you would know she was Nancy Pelosi.
Treanor said he made “no promises” that an acceptable hoax would be ready by Thursday. According to informed sources, he is working on a story in which AIG Executives buy “pay what you can” tickets at a local theater.
President Obama is expected to sign the legislation at 11.00 this morning, April 1, at a ceremony – wait a minute!