“The show is about WOMEN … not about theater,” writer/producer Jeanie Linders says in a press-kit Q&A about Menopause: The Musical.
OK, then how to evaluate it?
Women? Two thumbs up! Five stars! Must see!
But this show? Dismal.
Give credit to the boomers for bringing the change of life, among so many things, into plain sight and public discussion. Perform Google experiments of your choice –“menopause TV,” “menopause information,” “menopause support,” “menopause humor,” etc. — and watch the hits stack up.
But given how out of the closet menopause is, does femalekind really need this oldies jukebox musical with pointed, rewritten lyrics to liberate themselves from the straw man of society’s ostensible strictures? Maybe it’s the crowd I hang with, but I hear women referring to their hot flashes, temperamental bladders, insomnia, roller-coaster libidos, slowed metabolism, depression, and so on fairly often, if not hourly. And I’m a guy! I can only assume that the talk goes deeper still in the hallowed bastions of same-sex locker rooms. And I hope, for women’s sake, that it’s more entertaining than the prostate and pulled-ham discussions in ours.
So if the show’s activist premise is hyped, can’t we at least celebrate the wisdom that comes along with the midlife symptoms? Indeed, as empowerment rally for the graying distaff, Menopause, I’ll grant you, is something of an event. Where else does a production end with a menopausal “kick line” of dancers drawn from the audience? And if it’s an evening of forced, upbeat, you-go-girl whooping and hollering you’re after, then perhaps this is the place for you.
But if you’re looking for any real flashes of insight to go along with those hot flashes, your search must continue-if not in the warmth of friendship, or the self-help section at B&N, then, heck, in a Lifetime movie, which will look like Shakespeare next to this drivel.
Not only do we have its creator denying that the evening is theater. (Strange — it’s in a theater, they’re charging theater-like prices for tickets. What am I missing?) We also have protagonists who are not just caricatures, but named by their caricature: Professional Woman, Soap Star, Earth Mother, Iowa Housewife. It would be a red flag to see characters described this way, bare bones, in a script. But when those are actually their names, you can be certain that anything remotely approaching characterization is just not in the cards.
Well, if we’re stuck with caricatures, at least there’s a workable premise, right? Er, no. I’m not a fetishist for Strindbergian naturalism or anything, but what gives? Four strangers at Bloomingdales in New York City one minute fighting over a bra, the next lunching together, then having a de facto pajama party in the lingerie department?
I know. I know. It’s the tunes, stupid. The ensemble disco-grooving to “Staying Awake” in lieu of “Staying Alive”; “I Wish We All Could Be Sane and Normal Girls” instead of “California Girls”; “Looking for Food in Too Many Places” instead of … You get the idea.
They’re fairly clever. I mean, a road trip with Linders, listening to the oldies station, must be something of a hoot. But for the most part the subbed lyrics never rise to the heights of an esteemed lyric bender like, say, Weird Al Yankovic. There are a few fun ones: “My personal summer is really a bummer” sings Stacy Schwartz as Soap Star, in approximately the 4,000th hot-flash reference. But most are kind of forced: “Lost in one of those menopause traps, pretending there’s no brain collapse”; or “I don’t know where it might end. I turn to a milkshake, and call it friend.” Hmm. “Good Vibrations,” as orgasmically rendered by Iowa Housewife Monica Lijewski into a phallic pink prop mic is a pretty good time. But the song, in its original, with its “excitations,” wasn’t exactly subtly coded.
Even a musical called Menopause should flow, but the transitions here are clunky, to say the least, as is the bare-bones dialogue, which rates sitcom first draft at its best. “I know I’ve changed a lot with this whole changing process. I mean I’m much more pushy when I’m not crying,” says Lijewski. The fairly contextless double entendres are about as nuanced as a push-up bra: “The last personal trainer I had, I had,” coos Schwartz; or “I’m gonna need a long, tall drink of water. And a beverage would be nice too,” vamps Yolonda Williams as Professional Woman.
Schwartz, Lijewski, Williams, and Barbara Pinolini as Earth Mother all have bright, perky stage presences, and maybe they can act, but you won’t find out in the mincing and preening of this show. Their singing to the pre-recorded, mechanical score laid down by keyboardist Michael Dubay, drummer Don Meoli, and Jonathan Rem is adequate, but, with the sometime exception of Williams, not much beyond that. Patty Bender’s choreography is similarly perfunctory in its American Bandstand takeoffs.
Bud Clark’s set depicting the department store entrance and elevator doors is handsome, and Sue Hill’s costumes are snappy, particularly when the women have an outbreak of Cher and Tina Turner impersonations. And there are a few amusing sequences: Pinolini’s midlife optical challenges when reading a menu, for instance, and Lijewski’s soul-searching, fabric-stretching tentative encounter with a stringy, sheer body suit in the lingerie department. But even those are drawn out too long, and overall, director Michael Larsen’s pacing is stop and go, almost painful when he’s milking the audience’s good will. Also irritating is Talon Jones’s over-amped sound — particularly when the ladies are bellowing into their lapel mics from the backstage “toilets” and whatnot.
Whatever else women and the partners who love them have discovered by midlife or after, they’ve presumably developed some formidable time-management skills. Surely there’s something more valuable they could be doing with this hour and a half.
Menopause: The Musical
Book and lyrics by Jeanie Linders
Directed by Michael Larsen
Produced by The Bethesda Theatre
Reviewed by Alexander C. Kafka
For Details, Directions and Tickets, click here.
For the record, I did not direct this particular production of MENOPAUSE THE MUSICAL. The Bethesda production was cobbled together with members of the Baltimore production and Ms. Schwartz, whose performance I never directed. It was presumably put up by a stage manager, and I was never invited to see it. The presence of my name in the program was something that was corrected on subsequent productions with which I had nothing to do. Unfortunately, the Bethesda program was in print, and the run well under way before I found out my name was on it. It may seem silly after 5 years to respond to this, but you know, I just stumbled on this page, and it sort of hurt me that a poorly paced production of a show I did indeed direct in many cities (where we were met with many positive reviews) reflects on my reputation in print. Also for the record, all four of these actresses are absolutely terrific – I wish I’d had the opportunity to work with Stacy on this production, as we’ve had several very successful partnerships in other shows over the years. But directing individual performances in another city at another time under vastly different circumstances doesn’t mean I have to be the “fall guy” on a production I never even saw. No one likes to be a scapegoat. Mr. Kafka and DC Theatre Scene are not to be blamed for presuming that I directed this show. There it was in print. But, as I said, I was hurt – if I do less than stellar work, then I should be taken to task for it in the press. It’s their responsibility to inform their readership of their educated opinions. But when the work isn’t mine, good OR bad, I should get neither the blame nor the credit. Thanks for letting me vent.
I kinda feel sorry for people who can’t just sit back and take pleasure in something that is fun, lighthearted and just downright enjoyable! My husband and I saw the show in Vegas and people were quite literally crying with laughter! The man next to me was laughing so hard he about fell out of his chair! This show is thoroughly entertaining and if you are going thru ‘the change’ or know someone who is, you will absolutely LOVE this show! The music and songs are very fun, the cast we saw was spectacular and everyone left the theater with a big smile on their face. Getting ready to go again with some friends to the DC production. All I can say is relax and enjoy it in the context of what it is and you will in no way be disappointed.
Menopause was in Atlanta and I missed it w/my friends who thoroughly enjoyed it. My sister took me to see it for my birthday in Hilton Head, she and her husband had seen it and they both enjoyed it. Professional critics, I don’t give a rip what they have to say about movies, shows or much of anything. They tend to think too much of their own opinion and are usually way too critical. It was a great birthday present. We laughed and had a grand time. Lighten up! Did you have a good time? Could you see humor in what was sung? If Mr. Critic didn’t understand that the point of telling you where the housewife was from and not giving her a name if for mindset. You have a hippie mindset, the business woman, the soap star, duh. Women from all walks of life go through menopause. OK, so he’s not a bright critic, he can’t see that these women can unite and find friendship and comfort over this beast that has captured there life. It’s far fetched, silly and wouldn’t happen in a million years. Neither would the things of Carol Burnett or I Love Lucy, be we all enjoyed them too. Get over yourself guy. Find your funny bone.
it was a cute show, and, even though expecting the worse from the commentary above, i enjoyed and laughed out loud. using the oldies songs with retooled lyrics is what makes it work. the songs harken back to the youth of the audience of a certain age; we all know the songs and laugh at the twists and play on words. it wouldn’t have been as funny if i didn’t know the original songs. it’s not high art, but i get plenty of that. it’s pure cathartic entertainment for the ills of menopause. now, ticket price is a whole separate issue — i agree tickets to a LOT of things are way overpriced (theatre, concerts, sports. . .)
Yes, I thought the show was funny, but for $59.00 plus $7.25 fees that we paid online, me and my frends felt we didn’t get our money’s worth. When I read in the program that the music was recorded, I was disappointed. I go to the theatre to see amusicals because I want to hear live music. $25 would have been a fair price not $66.75 for what we got.
Geez, now I know where to research new plays. I’ll just read the articles posted by the negative critics on this page then order my tickets if they’re reporting a bad show. My goodness get a grip. It is what it is. It was a fabulous show for a 50 year old woman! The music was something we all could relate to, the lyrics hit the spot, the cast was awesome and I have recommended this to every middle aged and younger woman I know. Can’t wait to see Men Fake Foreplay and 3 Blonde Moms and how you pan them. Not everything has to conform to such standards as you seem to have.
I don’t know of any discerning critics who love this show; it’s not brilliant by any stretch. But it is entertaining, if undemanding. The first time I saw it in South Florida, it was many weeks into its run, it was a Thursday night in August – waaay outside our theatre season – and the house was PACKED. With patrons who adored the show.
People who love TV will love this show. People who love theatre will shrug and go “Eh, that’s an hour and a half I won’t get back.”
And the producers will laugh all the way to the bank…
(BTW, that Stacy Schwartz CAN act; she a dazzler onstage.)
Sincerely,
South Florida Theatre Scene
(South Florida’s liveliest theatre blog)
There certainly is a niche market for pieces like this one and “Mid-Life: The Crisis Musical”, these sort of cheap little revue-sicals, no doubt entertaining, but ultimately low on artistic substances. And as long as there are entertaining shows that are ALSO substansive, critics have every right to evaluate them, well, critically. Otherwise who’s to know the difference between this and, say, “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change”, a similar slice-of-life revue experience that also happens to have a fantastic book, lyrics, and ORIGINAL music?
I feel when people who critic shows do not look at the show for what its soul purpose was meant to be. The above critic place this show in a subject matter to be “seriously contemplated.” However,it was a light weight musical comedy to connect people with music that was familiar that would give comfort, peace, chuckle and a smile. The history of Menapause has come from being a “topic no one dare talk about” to women wanting and needing to be heard about their problems in the “passing of life.” Due to the show now women are able to “laugh” at their situation and finding support within their own gender and knowing they are not alone and being able to hum a tune that can make them smile instead of crying about the difficulty of their situation.
Not every show or movie needs to be picked apart because it lacked originality, serious enough, intense plot, great acting, or was too corney. The point of this show was to be a comfortable place for WOMEN to come and laugh at their hot flashes, lack of libido, insomina, and etc. So I agree with the woman above saying to the critics “Lighten UP!” My Mom, who is 78 enjoyed herself immensely when she saw it in MN along with my three sisters and said “wish that we could have had such openness when she was going through her Menapause!”
The show did what it was meant to do bring people together, laugh and enjoy themselves for a bit of time!
And I’d see it again! You people really take yourselves and your reviews waaaay too seriously. This show is therapy for those of us who are going through the change. It allows us to laugh at ourselves and realize that we are NOT alone with all the accompanying ails that present themselves during this time. LIGHTEN UP! And send a menopausal woman to the next show and see what she thinks of it! (That is, if she really posesses a sense of humor.) What’s so wrong having a laugh and a great time??? Isn’t that what entertainment is about? You rock, Jeanie Linders!!
This sounds dreadful–cringe inducing.
I also frown on something that calls itself a musical but borrows from already composed songs. It’s not a musical, it’s a pastiche. The musical may be over the hill, but it’s better served under it.
Ms. Linders, your lyrics are terrible. Please retire. Also note that because something travels to different cities and and crosses cultural borders does not make it good. Bird flu also passes through different cities and crosses borders, but at least you can die and be spared the pain. When sitting in your show listening to the lyrics, a patron has no such luck. Yes, a show can be created for pure entertainment and meant to play to a select target audience. Does that mean it is an excuse not to use good technique or have a truely funny or insightful lyric? You reuse the same tired Menopause jokes and stereotypes without having anything to say. So before you go critizing someone and their job, really think about whether or not your show “defies criticism”. Because according to google and the many reviews I read, your show actually does not defy criticism. Yes, audiences may laugh and have a great time, which is wonderful and should be applauded. It would also be commendable if there was a show with original songs and lyrics and a book that told a story of what it is like to go through that stage in life. Instead we have the misfortune of having your stale work in front of us. Even writing that sentence made me depressed thinking I might, even accidently, have to hear your work somewhere someday. There is one phrase that you did write in the above comment that I hope you take to heart. No more, please, no more. For the sake of the children. No more. Oh and Alexander, no worries, you were right. The show is awful and don’t feel bad saying it. It’s not your fault there people who find it entertaining.
Fabulous! I love these kind of reviews…a writer (in a dying genre i.e. newspapers)…a man, no less, (who despite pictorial appearance) will never experience the dregs of menopause…passing judgement on a performance piece that does EXACTLY what it claims i.e. entertains a target market of women. No more, no less. Which is what MTM has done since 2001 in 250 cities, 13 countries, six translations. Silly man. I’m writing from a desk in a Knightbridge hotel in London (preparing to meet my touring UK cast), having spent five days with my fabuloso MTM troupe in Italy…and you are, what, sitting at a desk in D.C….trying to justify your job as “critic” with a show that defies criticism…to its target audience. (Or are your trying to save your job???)