We were stunned, as we are sure you will be, to read that Washington has a new award for theatrical excellence, The Worthy Awards, named in honor of Nationals ballplayer, Bayson Worth, and that it will be presented today either at the ball park or the National Mall (actual location not announced as of this posting.)
DramaUrge, which alerted us to its announcement early this morning, explained The Worthy’s unusual criteria:
“In an effort to honor original work by local theater professionals appearing before adult audiences, any play which is not a co-production, an adaptation of literature or media knockoff, a reimagining of a canonical text, a comedy club production, a festival – whether imported or plundered from the past, or a stripped-down classic – excessively edited, condensed, or devoid of language – will be eligible for entry as will any shows where children do not outnumber parents or guardians and designers do not exceed the cast. Touring companies will be excluded along with one-person shows, repeatedly performed plays (Doubt, Art, Santaland Diaries, etc.), and productions of the Bard which would make a sailor blush – rather we will recognize the finer restagings, i.e., Shakespeare for My Mother.
“There will be a salary cap on design: no more than 2 thousand dollars will be allotted per show, so that judges will be clearly able to evaluate the merits of a play. All directors will be expected to be in the house, leading their companies in performance, and not off to the next show to begin rehearsals. Theater fans who can articulate their enthusiasm for their favorite art form in simple or adorned declarative sentences, in posts to our website or their venues of choice (flames or sarcasms are deducted), and can produce documentation of attendance, will be honored with professionals.”
I’m hearing that, in a rare reversal, the awards committee is shaking down, uh, soliciting critics to fund an open bar, with jumbo shrimp and a big spread from Hole Foods, for the theater crowd. They’re calling it “No Eats, No Seats.”
Take every Washington Shakespeare opening night that’s ever been. There’s more shrimp than that. So I hear.
Love The Worthy’s criteria for eligibility!
Excellent.
Open bar after? Shrimp?
For greater transparency and to attract a younger audience, judges’ voting will take place live before a flash mob, forming on the SW Waterfront, with results posted realtime.
Happy April Fools Day.
Ha ha. Well done!