Perfecting the Kiss is a backstage comedy that’s a worthy successor to Noises Off. What Noises Off accomplishes in two acts, Perfecting the Kiss pulls off in an hilarious 80 minutes, with no need for a two story set or turntable.
Playwright Scott C. Sickles has written a love letter to stage managers whom he calls ““a special breed of people. They are the harbor of order in a sea of chaos. They see all. They know all. Yet, they are human too. They have their limits.” If you’ve never performed in a show, this may seem like heightened praise. If you have, you know he speaks the truth.
Perfecting the Kiss is packed with laughs, starting at the top of the show, when actor Helen McMillan, as “Helen McMillan,” explains why she, a stage manager, decided to write a play about her experiences with the godawful production, Boxing Windows. She is all flips and flutters as she tells us her therapist told her she needs to vent. And vent she does, in the form of a documentary about the worst play ever written — no, let’s go beyond that, the worst play ever conceived. Next to Boxing Windows, Nothing On — the miserable farce which occupied the agonized the cast of Noises Off — is an act of theatrical brilliance.
“Did you have a chance to read the play?” playwright Harvest Carruthers (Daniel Damiano), full of pride and anxiety, asks actor Mike. “Yes,” Mike replies, and in that yes is a world of contempt, disgust, and dread over the fact that some day he will be forced to utter some of the worst lines in literature.
Harvest wants his play to be considered among the greatest of all time while “Helen” just wants to get out of this one alive.
Boxing Windows is a drama about the relationship between two men, characters played by Mike Porter (George Redner) and Buck Jackson (Patrick Harman). Buck is a terrible actor, but it doesn’t matter because, as Mike points out, Olivier couldn’t bring Harvest’s lines to life. We are in rehearsal through much of the play, as Buck somehow convinces the author to cut the script down to two hours. Eventually, we get to the scene everyone dreads: the passionate kiss (hence the title).
For unknown reasons, Boxing Windows’ director Edwina O’Halloran (Mia Moreland) makes it her business to match Mike and Buck romantically. This is a bad idea, for three reasons. (1) Harvest would like Buck for himself. (2) Buck isn’t gay, and is in fact homophobic. (3) Buck only has eyes for Edwina. In the meantime, stage manager Helen yearns for Harvest. Or, failing that, for Buck. Or Michael. Or anyone who would take five minutes to look at her and talk to her.
“Break a leg, everyone” Edwina says to her cast while exiting. “You too, Helen.” she adds.
Director Paula D’Alessandris and the cast deserve equal credit with the playwright for the laughs.
Take for example, the first table read. The hyper Buck, whose credentials include Leper 1 in Jesus Christ Superstar and Farmer Joel in Moo Juice, (there is a program for Boxing Windows) imbues Carruthers’ script with — well, imagine William Shatner after 26 cups of coffee. The more animated Buck becomes, the more laconic Mike is in response, until by the end of the reading he sounds like he is auditioning for a role in a zombie movie. (“I think it’s a Meisner thing”, Edwina explains to the concerned Harvest.) The concept is spot-on and Harman and Redner deliver it perfectly. Moreland’s Edwina slowly boils up in frustration and anxiety as the reading drags on; Domiano’s Harvest slowly dissolves in confusion as he hears, for the first time, what the lines he obviously considered to be Chekhov-like really sound like.
But they are eclipsed by Helen McMillan, whose comic delivery is unsurpassed as her character moves from crushing disappointments to revenge, while managing to keep the rehearsals running on time, disagreements calmed, and even calls the opening night’s light cues.
The one tragic thing about this comedy is that it was only given three Fringe performances, and closes this Saturday at 1:30pm. Catch it if you can. Or on your next trip to NYC, check out what producing company Mind The Gap Theatre is up to.
Note: The producers are showing love to Fringe stage managers by offering free tickets to Perfecting the Kiss, subject to availability and Fringe Festival guidelines. Send your comp request with your name and the name of the show you are/were stage managing to director Paula D’Alessandris at [email protected]
Perfecting the Kiss by Scott C. Sickles. Directed by Paula D’Alessandris . Featuring Daniel Damiano, Patrick Harman, Helen McMillan, Mia Moreland, and George Redner . Graphic design by Jade DaRu . Laura Schlachtmeyer is the stage manager; Victoria Blanford was the stage manager in New York . Developed by Mind the Gap Theatre and WorkShop Theater Company . Reviewed by Tim Treanor.
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