The Gregor and Olga Show
Our award: 0 Fringes
by Joel Markowitz
It’s 3:44 AM, and I can’t sleep because I am still in schlock shock.
What were they thinking? They claimed it was a “comedy about Love, Lust and Loathing.” Nothing was funny, no one could sing, and all we saw was Gregory Levine (Gregor) screaming at the top of his lungs, or should I say shrieking, and Gabi Hegan (Olga) trying to sound Russian and sounding more like Bela Lugosi.
And again, like so many other shows I have seen at the Fringe, when things are not going well, and when the audience is in shock and not laughing- throw in some genitalia jokes, and maybe the audience will stiffen up and laugh. So, here at The Gregor and Olga Show we get several “frankfurter jokes” and references that Americans have “a little thing,” and when Olga finally finds the “little things, she can’t get enough of them.”
Isn’t that hilarious? Pretty limp.
And if you are lucky, Gregor will improvise one of his, “poems of disalluision” for you. How lucky were we tonight to hear his poem about an artichoke, followed by a poem about his love for Olga, which quickly turned into a poem about his first lover-Maria, which gets Olga got so pissed that she decided to cheat with her lover Tony Caruso, (Jonathan Holtzman) Jonathan’s butchering rendition of my favorite song of all time – I Only Have Eyes For You, was so atrocious, that I thought my corneas would explode (then it would have been, “And I Only HAD Eyes For You.”.)
I knew Enrico Caruso, and Tony, you ain’t no Enrico Caruso!
And, if you are a lucky audience member, Olga will shriek a song she learned in The Red Army, then do a strip tease for you, and if you are really special, Olga will sit on your lap and bounce up and down all over you, and rub your hair, while anger-management-therapy-needed Gregor screams at you at the top of his lungs! And then you can hear Gregor and Olga reconcile and mutilate I Remember It Well from Gigi, with their own ingenious lines like, “For ever now, you’ll be my Frau.”
My friend, Kalyn Bruin couldn’t believe how bad this show was!
There was one bright light in the show and that was Miss Ruby Valentine, (I’m not kidding you – that’s her real name), who in real life is a famous burlesque stripper, and Marilyn Monroe look-alike.Here was a real class act dressed in a sizzling white gown, waving her two big white feathers. How lucky for her that her character got to leave early on in the show! What fond mammaries we had when Ruby graced the stage.
I was so thrilled when Gregor looked at the audience and said, “I insist you leave the theatre so I can return to my bed chamber.”
I took Gregor’s advice and ran out of there as fast as I could.
And here’s my advice, – don’t be Russian over there to see this clunker.
(Running time: 85 minutes)