Having lived my life in relative obscurity, I now find myself on the brink of celebrity.
My early kittenhood was full of sadness, even tragedy. I was found stuffed in a downspout. My fur had rubbed off. I was shivering and starving. I must have looked wretched. No one wanted me. I heard a rather rude young man remark that I was the ugliest creature he’d ever seen. Well, I would have said the same about his shoes!
But despite my lowly start, I always felt I was destined for a life on the stage. I was taken in by two people who are in theatre, who even entertain others who could have put me in a show, but no one recognized my talents.
Until yesterday, when I was called to audition for Michael Kahn, Artistic Director of Shakespeare Theatre, himself a cat lover. I was determined to show him my best. I sent over my most alluring photo. I arrived perfectly groomed and manicured.

And when I made my entrance into that rehearsal room, I knew at once he had eyes for no one but me. I strolled around the space keeping up the suspense. Would I sit down or roam? (Wait for it, love.) I spotted a velvet couch and knew it was the perfect choice. I jumped up and pirouetted once before starting to settle. Michael was respectful and let me run the meeting — always the gentleman. And he said I was “purr-fect.” [ezcol_1third]
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Harold Pinter’s The Lover and The Collection
September 26 – October 22, 2017
Details and tickets
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My people began talking to his people.
Then the email arrived. I got the role! And the terms were agreeable. I’ll even have my own dressing room at The Lansburgh.
I plan to use all of my life experiences, even those low moments in the downspout, to prepare for my stage debut later this month as Cat in The Collection. Eleanora Duse has nothing on me.
I will tell you more as my new life as a theatre cat unfolds.
Dante’s Beatrice
aka Sweet Bea