One word, and only one word, captures the Maryland Ensemble Theatre’s production of Completely Hollywood (Abridged): Boring. Boring. Boring. Boring. Tedious minutes tick away without a whit of laughter. Stale gags bolster dated jokes. And the actors (Jack Evans, Matt Lee, and James McGarvey) stumble over one another, trying to burn brightest.
That’s part of the show’s premise—3 guys with (not so) silver-screen-ready scripts arguing over whose yarn deserves accolades. Yet, I felt like the collective, fake dysfunction extended beyond the stage, turning what should have been an ensemble into 3 concurrent one-man shows. Disappointing, considering it started with a bang as Jack, Matt, and James donned wigs and Regency Period garb to parody Jane Austen and Charlie’s Angels using Barbie Dolls. That was funny.
The first act is a lesson in the “twelve critical components of film”: use actions, not words; capture unforgettable images; adapt facts as needed; and recycle. Movies use formulas over and over because, well, they work. That’s why we call them formulas. Slapstick, puns, sight gags, audience participation, archetypes, and, even, Kung Fu Theatre never get old. But, I’m over Tom Cruise being short. Since 2005 (when the original script was penned), he’s christened a couch with love-enthusiasm and shifted from Universal Hero to Scientologist Number One.
That’s what’s difficult about trying to condense an ever-evolving canon—and lightening fast pop culture—into 90 minutes while keeping the material fresh. Six Rocky films, yes six, now grace our lives, and I pondered, as the show lumbered along, what liberties Completely director, Gené Fouché, could have taken with certain passages. Perhaps none. In which case, I would have advised her not to attempt this show. Yet, she pokes fun at Johnny Depp’s 2013 summer flop The Lone Ranger, so why doesn’t she acknowledge Rocky Balboa? A minor inconsistency, but one that bugs those who really, seriously, wholeheartedly love movies.
Somewhat Recommended
Completely Hollywood, (Abridged)
Closes September 29, 2013
Maryland Ensemble Theatre (MET)
31 W Patrick St
Frederick, MD
1 hour, 45 minutes with 1 intermission
Tickets: $25
Fridays thru Sundays
Details and tickets
The second act, when Jack, Matt, and James bring their combined screenplay to life (and stop just talking about movies through compound titles like “Dr. Doolittle Women”), ushers in some fun. The energy and abandon each actor throws into their individual, impassioned diatribes finally coalesce, and it feels like one play. Some scenes skip along with the clipped cadence needed for a Reduced Shakespeare Company piece. The “romantic music montage set to ‘80s pop tunes” pays homage to Dirty Dancing, Flashdance, and Footloose, among others, with buoyancy and feigned seriousness that knows it’s feigned seriousness. More please!Completely Hollywood, (Abridged)
Closes September 29, 2013
Maryland Ensemble Theatre (MET)
31 W Patrick St
Frederick, MD
1 hour, 45 minutes with 1 intermission
Tickets: $25
Fridays thru Sundays
Details and tickets
However, we all tolerate staleness when consuming our favorites—like Doritos or Blue Moon. I’ll inhale either, long after air has degraded taste. I feel the same about movies. I could listen to the Last of The Mohicans score or Carmina Burana at my own funeral and still feel the awe of watching Alice Munro, in slow motion, look from Magua to the ravine above which she stands in the instant before she leaps to her death. If you tear up watching a DVD’s opening mishmash of the best of Paramount, you’ll appreciate the deluge of film references.
Either way, halfway through, I looked right and noticed my neighbor’s head hanging heavy over her shoulder, eyes downward. I wondered if she was asleep. I wasn’t sure, but I knew I wanted to be.
Completely Hollywood Abridged .Written by Reed Martin, & Austin Tichenor with additional material by Dominic Conti . Director: Gené Fouché . Featuring Jack Evans, Matt Lee, and James McGarvey . Costume Design: Barbara Blackwood . Set Design: Joann Lee . Sound Design: Tom Majarov . Lighting: Doug Grove . Fight Choreography: Tad Jones; Properties: Milee McDonald .Stage Managers: Kevin Cole and Bailey Sterling . Produced by the Maryland Ensemble Theatre . Reviewed by Kelly McCorkendale.
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